10 Other Ridiculous Ways the U.S. Government Can Come Up With $1 Trillion

January 14, 2013

What will we do now that the quixotic idea of minting a $1 trillion coin to help delay a debt showdown has been passed over? Here are a few other unique ways Washington could come up with a quick $1 trillion:

Offer to chisel Donald Trump’s face onto Mt. Rushmore, if he’ll raise $1 trillion for the U.S. government.

Tell Ben Bernanke he’ll never have to testify before Congress again, if he’ll just print an extra $1 trillion worth of cash.

Rent the White House for a month to Silvio Berlusconi and declare him Honorary President of the United States. Silvio would pay anything to be the boss, and surely he has a trillion sitting around somewhere. Tax free, probably.

Patent Joe Biden and seek licensing fees from every overexuberant middle-aged white guy in America.

Start charging Goldman Sachs for government favors, which will raise $1 trillion in about a week.

Declare pot legal everywhere, and tax it.

Promise Sheldon Adelson that President Barack Obama will resign if Adelson donates $1 trillion to the U.S. Treasury.

Sell the Pentagon’s entire fleet of F-35 fighter jets to China, and let them figure out how to manage rampant cost overruns, technical snafus and program delays. As a bonus, the F-35 will drain China’s defense budget for decades, degrading all other military capabilities.

Nationalize the porn industry.

Sell advertising on U.S. currency: “In Nike We Trust.”

And a bonus way to raise $1 trillion: Charge members of Congress $1 for every act of hypocrisy.

Rick Newman is the author of Rebounders: How Winners Pivot From Setback To Success.





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